


Unexpected Happiness

by NCSP



Series: Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining [1]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Caring Jimmy, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Season/Series 05, i wrote it to stop crying, s5e4, sorry I needed it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:58:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2478968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NCSP/pseuds/NCSP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After "Choose your own path" Thomas feels sick and everyone is worried for him. Not knowing what to do they call the only person who could help him...</p><p>I'm writing this before the fifth episode, so probably tonight I'll feel a bit disappointed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Happiness

Something was leaning on his chest.

There was something warm pressing against his sternum and heaving with his breath, as if it were abandoned there. The last time he remembeed a similar feeling dated back to when he was with the Duke, but those days were gone.

It was more likely that a cat had come into his room and she had curled up on him, finding the warmest surface available in that place. If Carson'd have surprised him with a cat probably would have killed him and would put him to chase mice along with his new companion.

Deciding that he did not lose anything enjoyng this moment before it happened the next inevitable disaster that would have involved him he did nothing.

He moved his good hand that he had abandoned on the sheets which that morning seemed strangely soft to stroke the soft fur of the cat; it was amazingly soft, silky and perhaps a little too curly to belong to a cat.

With an effort that he didn't suspected of having to make he lifted his eyelids being wrapped in a velvety dim light dictated by a lamp on a bedside table taken way from the bed so it didn't bother him; he forgot for a moment his original intent to stud y the room he was in, definitely not his. It was too large, too big, too fitted to be able to even remotely resemble his.

The bed in which he found himself was not his, it was too comfortable to be that tight uncomfortable cot on which he had slept in the last tenlighted years.

The soft mass in which he had sunk his fingers gave some sign of life drawing his attention.

He nearly jumped when his eyes fell on the figure crouched over him.

"Jimmy?" He murmured confused, and talking turned out to be harder than he thought.

"You're awake!" There was too much joy in the boys' eyes to point out to him that he was stating the obvious.

"What are you doing here?" he asked moving quickly his hand from his hair.

"It's a long story." still smiling he stretched slightly but did not move from where he was, "I'll explain later. Are you okay?"

He was going to answer yes, but there was something wrong, starting with the fact that he had no idea where he was and how he got there, then hesitated a moment to search for a definition

"No? What's wrong? Anything I can do?" His voice was agitated, strangely agitated. Perhaps because it was coming from on top of him.

"I ... I don't know." he replied sincerely looking around but not lifting his head from the pillow where it was leaning.

"It's all right now." Jimmy's hand moved up to rest gently on his cheek, leaving him stunned.

"What's going on?" he asked, confused, his head muffled by a strange veil that enveloped it keeping it from working as it should.

"Do not worry. 'S all right now."

"Now?"

"Yes, you idiot."

"Why?" he asked, amazed by the insult that had been pronounced with an almost unknown tenderness

"What do you mean with 'why?' ? You did almost killed yourself! "

"... What?"

The blond snorted indignantly but his expression was ruined by the fact that he was still leaning on Thomas' chest "Are you even asking me? May I know what the hell were you thinking?" His voice had risen a couple of octaves and became so excited that Thomas struggled to follow his words.

"Relating this to ...?" tried looking for a suggestion.

"Do you really don't know?"

"I'dn't be asking."

"Don't you remember how you ended up here?"

"No, I do not remember." He was almost losing patience and with anyone else would have already lost it, but that was Jimmy, his Jimmy he hadn't seen for far too long. And moreover, was still leaning on his chest.

"You fainted during breakfast, you weren't waking up, they called the doctor but he couldn't do anything, he just recommended to have you have some rest and wait for you to wake up by yourself."

Thomas blinked a couple of times and cocked his head painfully to the side; he couldn't remember any of this, his last memory was ... was ... he gave up looking for an answer in his memory; it was hard enough to focus on what they were saying at that time, it was not the case of force it further to discover some details that Jimmy could provide him with no effort.

One moment.

How did he know what had happened when he had been kicked out?

"How do I know?" He asked with a smirk.

"I spoke out loud?"

"No, but I know you well."

It was nice. He had missed Jimmy beside him, looking him guessing what he was thinking before he could even finish the thought, feel his voice slightly worried because despite trying to appear calm he could see that beneath the surface of calm behind which Jimmy was hiding himself there was something he didn't want him to know.

"So, how do you know all these things?"

"A few hours ago you felt sick, very sick. They tried to contact your family, but ..." he wavered searching for the right word, but explaining what he really wanted to say wasnt' an easy task for him.

"But no one answered. Go ahead." He did not care at all that in the house where he had spent his childhood and from which he had escaped no one had bothered to give the impression of taking care of him at a time when he was apparently ill, he cared to know why Jimmy was there with him when he was afraid of not seeing him anymore.

"Um, no ... so Mrs. Hughes has proposed to call me. Luckily they had my address and as soon as they called me I came here, I was not very far."

"Why did they called you at all?"

"You know why." He smiled smartly at him in the dim light that disguised the faint blush which had appeared on the man's cheeks..

"I can take care of myself."

"No, you can not. I left you alone for a few weeks and you know how this endend."

"This has nothing to do with it."

"Doesn't it?"

He looked away from him in order to avoid answering, pretending to be very interested by the lamp across the room, but after a moment he closed his eyes, annoyed by the light.

"You shouldn't have done it." he scolded him, snuggling again next to him.

"You do not understand." he sighed, his eyes still closed and his head tilted back against the pillow. He didn't have the strength to deal with that speech, not with Jimmy, not with him who seemed to know already everything. Baxter must have blurted out everything, that meddlesome. If he had paid more attention to avoid being seen by her now nobody'd have suspected anything and he wouldn't have had to endure such an humiliation.

But if he had paid more attention maybe Jimmy wouldn't have been there now, wouldn't have been at his side at a time when he really needed him.

He had missed him so much ...

"Try to explain." again he leaned out a hand toward him, brushing his cheekbone with his thumb; he didn't know how to comfort him and make him understand what he was doing there; using words he wasn't going to be understood, he could only rely on facts.

The man shook his head. Not him, not with him. Everything but not with him.

"Let me help you."

"You're here, that's enough."

"No, that's not enough." he unsisted, but his insistence for once didn't seem the one of a petulant child.

"Listen, Jimmy ..."

"No, you listen. They called me saying you were ill, they didn't know if you'd have last 'til tomorrow morning and if I could come here to try to do something, anything, because they didn't know what was making you ill and even what to do. I was afraid of not arrive in time and to come here to be greeted with an expression of regret by Carson, telling me that I had been kind to bother but that that was no longer useful and that I could also go away, without even a hail. Throughout the trip I had a bloddy fear of have been called too late to do something, a fear that I've never felt before, okay? Then now the least you can do is explain to me what the hell came to your mind when you decided that poisoning yourself wasn't abad idea. Y're a war survivor, Christ, do you have to risk dying at home? " His voice had risen almost to scream at him and then broke as if it had been stretched too long, and his already red eyes - Thomas noticed them just now - had filled with ears of anger and relief at the same time.

"Jimmy, hey, calm down." he wrapped him with one arm and stroked his back as the blonde snuggled against his chest, clinging to its comforting warmth. "It's all right."

"No that's not good!Y're still ill."

"I'm fine now, everything is okay. You were there in time, I'm here," he continued to brush his back to calm him down; he didn't know why he had reacted in such a way, he understood his concern but no friend would react with so much agitation, only a ... No, he had already been wrong once, he would't repeat the same mistake.

"Yes." he murmured, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

"Now calm down."

This time he just nodded, and Thomas seemed to feel his lips brush against his neck, but it had to be just his imagination, after all he had been unconscious for who knows how long, his senses shouldn't be very reliable at the time. But then he felt that again and tilted his head, confused. What the hell was he doing?

"Jimmy ..."

"Shut up."

"You wanted me to explane."

"Shut up."

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up."

"Jimmy, what ...?

"Shut. Up." this time he moved to look into his eyes and after a blink of an eye that maybe there shouldn't have been his lips rested on his..

Thomas froze, not knowing what was happening. Maybe he was dead, and against all odds he was in heaven. If this was death that was okay, it felt so good ... I had felt nothing of the passage and those lips were so soft, so real, so similar to the ghost of the memory of the night he kept the Accident.

In the fear that everything would end he stood still, enjoying the moment without moving a single muscle.

Not mooving seemed to him the only thing he could do to avoid breaking off that moment he had craved. It was so strange, so far away from what he had hoped for even in recent times.

Jimmy parted from him, surprised not to find any response from the other.

"Thomas?" he asked, convinced that there was something wrong.

"Hmm ..."

"What happens?"

"Shh ...."

He continued looking at him with a confused look, totally shocked, incredulous in front of his behavior. He thought it was what he'd wanted for a long time, but now he wasn't doing anything.

"If I'm dead do not tell me."

"Why would you be dead?"

"It's all too beautiful .."

Jimmy sighed. He couldn't believe that he had come to such a point of desperation to believe that this couldn't be true.

"Thomas, you're alive, everything is real."

"Well, good, do not tell me."

"Thomas, listen to me. Y're not dead, you're not dreaming, and this is not a hallucination." He shifted so that he lies on top of him, "This is real, alright?"

"Bravo, go on."

He rolled his eyes and kissed him again, with more force and intensity, forcing him to answer after having forced his lips with his tongue; he put his hands on his face, holding it so he couldn't withdraw or say a word.

He let him go only when they were both breathless.

"You're not dead, okay?"

"Explain it again." He muttered, snatching a laugh before they kissed again and again.

"Maybe I should get sick more often ..." he teased, receiving a slap on the cheek in response.

"Do not even mention it." He reproved him with a rising tone, suddenly serious.

"No, I won't. He replied gently stroking his cheek hesitantly, fearing to scare him.

"Are you convinced that this is real?" he asked gently returning to snuggle on him.

"Like I said, I need demonstrations." He smiled finally passing his good hand through his hair as he's been wanting to do for years.

"Something tells me that you're taking advantage of it."

"Me? I'm ill, I just want to be sure that what I'm experiencing is real."

"Are you feeling sick?" His eyes widened in concern and his hands came back to Thomas' face, where they stood like he was trying to understand what was wrong just looking in his eyes.

"Now is fine enough, don't worry."

"'Enough' is not good, I'm going to call Mrs. Hughes." He motioned for him to get up, but Thomas grabbed him by the waist, preventing him to move.

"It'll be worse if you go, stay with me." He begged him regardless of the fact that he could seem ridiculous. He had waited so long that moment, has been afraid that would never come, and not even including Jimmy in the scenario, he was simply afraid of not having anyone by his side.

"If you put it that way ..." obediently he appeared at his side, his head resting on his chest again.

They were silent for a few moments, simply enjoying being there, relatively safe.

"Jimmy," he asked after a moment, "What time is it?"

"Deep night. Don't know exactly what time it is but I think it's past midnight."

He made a rough calculation "... I was unconscious for fifteen hours?"

"At a guess, yes. When I arrived they had already brought you here unconscious."

"I don't remember anything."

"You've been lucky to wake up, don't think about it. Perhaps I should call Mrs. Hughes."

"Why? We are in the middle of the night, let her sleep." The protection of the housekeeper's sleep was the least of his problems, more than anything else he didn't want someone to intrude in that bubble of happiness that for once in his life he was wrapped in, in the most unexpected of ways.

"I don't think she's asleep. She was worried about you, really worried, don't look at me like this.she asked me to call her if you ... when you'd have woke up." He immediately corrected himself.

"She doesn't know I woke up." He protested.

"She won't make me go away if that's what you're thinking." he turned toward him and smiled, softened by his reluctance to involve someone in their moment "She was the one asking me to come here and keep an eye on you, she won't ask me to disappear now that you're awake."

"Just a moment." He pleaded fluttering his long dark lashes, and Jimmy couldn't resist. He leaned back toward him and kissed him once again, venting in that kiss all the fear he had felt at the thought of never being able to reciprocate that first kiss that Thomas had given him a few years earlier.

They ended up close to each other, only the blanket he had wrapped Thomas in that divided them and it was starting to become annoying; just when they were about to take it off Jimmy finally decided that since he had scared him so much he deserved to be tortured, so he separated from him and, taking advantage of the confusion that had caught the other, stood up before he could stop him.

"Hey!" He protested.

"I'm going to call her. Need someone to assess if you're okay."

"I'm a doctor, I can do it."

"You're also the one who decided to poison you, so don't say a word."

The man must resolve to cross his arms over his chest, recognizing the inability to stand up without fainting again, and probably if he had fainted again Jimmy would have had a nervous breakdown.

"Wait, don't ..." he tried again to stop him, but only the sound of the door closing answered.

He sighed settling back under the blanket that had slipped to the side. Maybe he really was an idiot to hurt himself that way, but after the departure of Jimmy he'd felt so alone, so devoid of a future with someone and despair leaded him to that point. He saw a chance and grabbed it , believing that no matter how absurd it was that idea, he had no longer anything to lose.

Obviously it didn't work.

Or rather, it had somewhat worked: Jimmy'd came back, and in a completely different perspective he didn't even dare hope a few weeks before.

The door opened and Mrs Hughes came in, breathless, her clothes vaguely rumpled and some hair that escaped from the usual tidy bun.

"Thomas, thank God you're okay." She approached him, almost running, and before he could say a word she had already laid a hand on his forehead to check that he had no fever "You're cold. James, would you bring another blanket?"

"Of course, Mrs. Hughes." Suppressing a laugh for the almost terrified expression Thomas wore on his face, having become a poor prey in the housekeeper's maternal hands.

"I'm not cold ..." he croaked, and this unusual lowering of the voice did nothing but worry the woman most.

"But you're not well, dear. Want some water?"

He refrained from answering 'no, mom' just because she had been the one bringing Jimmy back.

"I'm fine."

"You should drink the same. Can I bring you a glass of water?"

He nodded just in order to get rid of her and wrapped himself in the blanket, sinking his nose in it. Mrs Hughes smiled maternal and went to get the famous glass of water, almost colliding with Jimmy who was returning with a couple of blankets in his hands.

"'Have you thrown her out?"

"She went to bring some water, it seems to be an infallible remedy." He tried to prop himself on his elbows to rise but fell back with a groan.

"Stay where you are, you've been unconscious for almost a day, if you do want to get up you'll be helpe." he sat beside him and wrapping an arm around his waist helped him to rise while with the other hand settled a couple of pillows behind his back; he should've let him go, but he crouched beside him as he lay one of the two blankets on him.

"Mrs Hughes is coming back." He feel unable to not lay his lips on his forehead.

"Not yet." He murmured against his neck while the aforementioned housekeeper peered from behind the door. Finally, even those two chicks of her brood had found each other. When James had received the news that he must go she had found him crying in a corner and trying to calm him down she had discovered what afflicted him; not so much the loss of a job because with the right references he'd have soon found another, but because he had to leave Thomas. This hadn't been said aloud, but wasn't difficult to understand. Those two had become as thick as thieve, the footmam's feelings toward the under butler were quite clear, the only ones who seemed to not understand were the two of them.

In order not to scare them she did a little noise with her feet, giving them time to separate before entering.

"Can I bring something to eat?" She asked, handing him the glass he struggled to grasp.

"I take this." Jimmy offere taking away the glass.

"I'm not hungry ..."

"You should eat, Dr. Clarkson said it. Perhaps we should call him."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine." Jimmy growled at him.

"Yes I' ..." he was silenced by the blonde's look, incredibly threatening.

The efforts of the housekeeper for not to laugh in front of that scene, typical of an old married couple, were remarkable.

"It's two in the morning, if nothing happens, we can call him tomorrow morning." She proposed to end the bickering.

Thomas nodded, grateful for her intervention.,

"James, can you keep an eye on him tonight?"

"Sure." Jimmy smiled, unable to hide his joy to be allowed to stay.

"Well, then I'll get some rest. Goodnight." She took leave with a greeting, leaving them the privacy they needed.

"And so I have to suffer your presence all night long?"

"As if you don't want it." He commented sitting next to him, "Drink."

"She's gone, put away that glass."

"No, now you drink a bit of water before dying of dehydration."

"What a big word." he teased.

"Stop it and drink." He approached the glass to his lips and forced him to swallow a bit of water that scraped against his parched throat.

"Happy now?" He coughed relaxing against the pillows.

He put the glass next to the bed and crawled under the covers with him, "Yes, now." He said leaning in to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the mistakes, but english is not my natural Language, I'm trying to learn.


End file.
